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Observations of the Day

2006-06-26T13:16:36Z

So then the howler monkey just flung the parachute pack across the room, hopped off his perch, launched into his rendition of “Fields of Gold,” and gave a perfunctory Romanian Army salute before marching on out of the room.

Story of my life.

Observation of the Day:

Villains of the world, beware! Your skulduggery shall never escape the eye of the mysterious masked defender of liberty and justice they call:

THE RUMINATOR

He’ll strongly consider thwarting your evil scheme!

Observation of the Day:

The song "Quit Playing Games With My Heart" would probably carry more emotional urgency if sung from an operating table.

Observation of the Day:

Nine out of ten advertising slogans could be made twice as interesting by substituting "dead" or "death" for one of the existing words.

-Alamo Rent-a-Car: Drive dead.

-Campbell's Soup: Mm-mm, death.

-General Electric: We bring dead things to life.

-Maybelline: Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's death.

-Olive Garden restaurants: When you're here, you're dead.

-Wrangler: Real. Comfortable. Death.

Observation of the Day:

Dear IRS,

Sorry, but I called "income dibs" back in March.

Better luck next year.

—Austin

Observation of the Day:

I've never been one of these guys that's into cars, but I do have a special obsession with promotional vehicles, such as ice cream trucks or the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. This is the kind of thing I fantasize about picking up girls in.

"Hey baby." (Jingle jingle.) "You look kinda hot. How'd you like a little....refreshment?" (Ridiculous twinkly music)

Somewhere there is help, or an Internet chat room, for people like me.

from http://www.geocities.com/nougageddon/archive1.html

oh my

2006-03-06T04:04:21Z

i really don't understand why so many people get excited when they've been inconvenienced by others and feel they can get justifiably angry and seek retribution.

basically sane?

2006-01-04T17:21:26Z

i love being asked to ride horses for other folks as i don't have one of my own. what i don't love is getting the speil on how great the horse is and then "Oh and he hasn't been ridden in a while but he's basically sane."

"basically sane?" what does that mean? "basically he'll try to buck you off only once."

Even better is when they tell you where the lunge line is and stress that it would be good to lunge him before riding him.

yay horses! :D

Striking

2005-12-21T21:52:19Z

y'know with all this talk of the strike in NYC, nobody has mentioned why the transit workers are striking. There was something vague about getting respect in one article but that was it.

cause, i'd hate to resolve the issue that made them do something this extreme in the first place.

George Morris

2005-11-16T23:47:44Z

George Morris is an icon in the equestrian world. He's ancient, done everything that he can given the sizeable pole up his ass and is considered quite the authority.

It also turns out that he sounds like the Sexual Harrassment Panda from Southpark.

ya.

School Children

2005-11-01T14:08:09Z

I'm seeing more and more school vans (think short buses) with the signs "CAUTION SCHOOL CHILDREN" everywhere.

So I wonder, what makes school children different from regular children? Non-school kids can run with scissors and take candy from strangers? How does one tell a school child from a regular child? Is it stamped somewhere? Do you have to ask them an age-appropriate question? (Explain Einstein's theory of special relativity or his fine-tuning of Newton's Law of Gravity. Take your time.)

And what would happen if i did NOT take caution around them? would they spontaneously combust? I can imagine the driver going "Oh my god! she's not taking caution! Avert your eyes school children! Avert your eyes!"

hehe

Halter QH Conformation

2005-10-13T01:30:20Z

I should preface this by saying that all horses are beautiful in their own way or that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

So, with that done, I really don't like halter QH conformation. In general, the low withers, built shoulders and sky-high butt of the quarter horse does not appeal. But the halter horses take this to extremes. I suppose that's the point and all. And who thought it would be a good idea to have the tiniest hoof possible? Hello, footbinding ring any bells?

I always thought halter horses were supposed to display the conformation desirable in a working horse. As in, you could get on this horse and go for a trail ride without it's feet crumbling. Grrrr. Silly people ruining horses. Grrrr......

hehehe i'm stupid.

Another Important Bulletin from Captain Obvious!

2005-09-30T12:07:44Z

WOW. Girls with eating disorders are likely to be anxious??? You don't say!

Behold the power and depth of modern psychiatric research

Honestly no wonder it's hard to find good treatment if this is a news flash.

x-posted once

Giant Squid!

2005-09-28T12:44:27Z

Finally the giant squid has not only been seen alive as a healthy adult specimen but has been photographed! that sucker is looooooong

Heeeeeere squidy squidy squidy

Pianists

2005-09-23T00:20:50Z

I'm watching this pianist play with an orchestra on PBS and he's really getting into it. Pianists are really very physical musicians. Sometimes I just want to tell them to get it over with and have their orgasm already.

Ah hahahahaha!

2005-09-17T18:23:43Z

Click!

False pretenses

2005-09-16T22:36:15Z

Yes, i am engaging in them. currently i am wearing the leotard, tights, and itty bitty knit shorts i got for ballet. if anyone happens to catch me wearing them it's because i'm not sure i want to keep the shorts and i need to get comfortable in a leotard again.

really, i'm enjoying walking and dancing about in a leotard and tights.

[shhhhhh]

nothing better to do

2005-09-16T19:55:15Z

that's a blatant lie. but i don't want to do those things this minute so here goes. my interest list (every fifth one) and why it's an interest.

Dressage: style of riding. very technical, getting the horse to move better and more expressively. fascinating and seems to me to be more in-depth than any other style i've heard of.

Horseback riding: um

Mental health: also a no-brainer

Music: so generic i should really be shot

Scars: i've got lots of 'em.

The Cheshire Cat: who doesn't love an agent of chaos?

My hero....

2005-09-14T12:18:29Z

is emily. for saving me $200 in textbook crapola.

you are my hero emily!

hehehe

2005-09-11T17:03:16Z

funniest thing ever at the store today. i enter the parking lot, go to the back (my usual place because it's less noisy) and surprise! i find a car accident sitting there.

please recall this was in a parking lot. first work PARKING. as in the first car was PARKED AND NOT MOVING.

okay. now. this little toyota had been innocenty sitting in a handicapped spot. imagine the shock as the owner to come back and find another car on top of yours. yes, some behemoth chrysler thing had bumped into the tall handicapped sign, knocked it over, kept going (!!!) and ridden the signpost halfway up on top of the other car.

wow.

1) how fast were you going initially to bump into a sign and knock it over?

2) why did you KEEP GOING? i would think that after you realized you were going forward onto another car you might, um, stop?

wow

BALLET!

2005-09-08T18:31:39Z

right so my professor is my new favorite person. she's awesome. holy CRAP i had so much fun even though all we had time for was barre work and one center combination (this totally over the top waltz-y combination heh)

it's also fun that she brings in other stuff so that it's not technically classical ballet. she wants us relaxed so we did a lot of stretches in between exercises. i really need to start being able to pick up on combinations quickly again. it sucks to have to watch everyone else the first go-round.

wow i want to have dance class every day!

bored

2005-09-07T00:05:35Z

i'm bored
bored bored

bored bored

bored
bored!

so what to do tomorrow:
-go to look park
-clean out car
-laundry
-dust
-reorganize closet (all three would be good)
-obsessively check email
-organize/weed out bureau in big room
-clean bathroom
-send off return to LL Bean
-check tire pressure

um. right. but i think it's more a non-thinking boredom. should be eased when classes start on Friday. til then i'm just going to have to put up with not thinking

the War for Sleep

2005-09-04T02:33:41Z

I think I just won a critical battle in the War for a Good Night's Sleep (No Thanks to my Kitten)

He has ripped off the underside of my bed so that he can rattle around in there at night and I can't get at him. He also likes to not pay attention to me when I'm asking him to come out or stop the FUCKING RACKET.

anyway

tonight i tried to nail the cloth back to the frame. no go, i can't swing back far enough with the hammer to drive the nail in. stupid physics. (hmm....maybe i should just remove the cloth altogether. interesting) but then i figured i can prop the hole up so he just can't get at it. i stuffed the futon cushion under there and my laptop case weighed down with other stuff so it's harder for him to push or pull it. i hope this works. i'm at my wit's end!

BALLET!

2005-09-01T01:08:15Z

ooooooh boy. i'm excited. there might might might be a spot for me in a ballet class! oh frabjous joy! heh i was waltzing all over the place (and, inevitably, running into chairs) yesterday.

oh i've missed dance. i mean it was wretched at the end with the eating disorder and my mom taking over and having scoliosis and not being able to be perfect because of that but wow. i've missed it. i'm -really- excited. i just hope i get a spot.

hopehopehopehopehopehopehopehopehopehope......

(hopehope)

Learning about governments through cows

2005-08-28T14:30:51Z

CLICK

Whale Rider

2005-08-28T01:07:56Z

Wow I am really loving this movie. In the middle of a pledge drive now (grrrr! in a really good spot too—of course!) otherwise I'd be glued to the TV. and by glued i mean sitting in front of. cause literally glued would be gross.

it's back! gotta go.

Ponderation

2005-08-23T03:29:35Z

How big does an island have to be before it is no longer an island but a continent? Greenland is an island. Australia isn't. Well, technically it is but people think of it first as a continent and second as an island. and really, everything is an island if you think about it too long.

THIS was painful....and yet so funny

2005-08-19T23:37:19Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet fuckridinghood? we went to high school together
2.~What would you do if you had never met fuckridinghood? probably the same thing...
3.~What do you honestly think of fuckridinghood? she's damned smart but needs to do what she wants to do
4.~Would or did fuckridinghood and fuckridinghood go out? ah, no. i like boys (well, one boy!)
5.~Have you ever liked fuckjohnnydepp? i like her but not in that sense
6.~If harmonicdiscord died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? um, nothing
7.~Would justpoet and fuckridinghood make a good couple? NO
8.~Describe eohwen in 3 words: smart, horsey and outgoing
9.~Do you think fuckridinghood is hot? what's with the questions about emma?
10.~Would harmonicdiscord and fuckridinghood make a lovely couple? again no
11.~What do you think of when you see fuckridinghood? buffy
12.~Tell me something humiliating about fuckridinghood: why?
13.~Do you know any of fuckridinghood's family members? her brother in the sense that i could pick him out of a lineup
14.~What's fuckridinghood's favorite color? I HAVE NO IDEA
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is fuckridinghood? one billion
16.~What would you do if withstereo just professed their undying love for you? i would be surprised
17.~What language does fuckridinghood speak? mostly english
18.~Who is fuckridinghood going out with? no idea
19.~Is fuckridinghood a boy or a girl? girl.....again
20.~Would fuckridinghood and withstereo make a good couple? opinionwise maybe. actual relationship (romantic) wise....hells no
21.~Who do you think fuckridinghood would be great with from this list? nobody
22.~When was the last time you talked to fuckridinghood? looooong time ago
23.~What is fuckjohnnydepp's favorite band? right now? ya got me
24.~Does justpoet have any siblings? maybe?
25.~Would you ever date fuckridinghood? didn't we cover this?
26.~Would you ever date eohwen? her being a girl, no
27.~Is fuckridinghood single? what?
28.~What is fuckridinghood's last name? no
29.~What is fuckridinghood's middle name? no
30~What is fuckridinghood's fantasy? no
31.~Where does fuckridinghood live? no
32.~Would you make out with fuckridinghood? no
33.~Are fuckridinghood and fuckridinghood best friends? best friends? what are we in middle school again?
34.~Does eohwen like fuckridinghood? they've never met...
35.~How did you meet fuckridinghood? yeah, we DID cover this one
36.~Is fuckridinghood older than you? no
37.~Is fuckridinghood the sexiest person alive? no

Ligers!

2005-08-19T20:46:10Z

Wow ligers are cool. Really cool. Hybrids in general are but ligers as better :P

mostly because if you reverse it (instead of dad lion mom tiger you do the dad tiger mom lion bit) you get a totally different cat. for one it's much smalle because the growth suppressor (in mommy lion) is there but the growth enhancer (in daddy lion) isn't there. SO COOL.

genetics rock my socks.

and hey, if anyone can find out from a reliable source if ligers are sterile i would much interested. i found two contradicting statements neither of which i deem worthy of the term "reliable." something like national geographic would be good. although i looked there...anyway. :)

Ranting, oh yes ranting

2005-08-18T18:50:38Z

Ooooookay. people are stupid. they just are.

i posted the helmet question in a horse community. as in: why wouldn't you? one would never believe the sheer volume of stupid reasons NOT to wear a helmet when trying to ride a 1500 pound animal. we just don't do that at my barn. i'm riding dressage/on the flat/not jumping. i've been riding X number of years, i know what i'm doing. blah blah blah

because if the other riders at you barn decided to jump off a cliff you'd follow? because you've never fallen off riding on the flat? because olympic riders who've been riding 6 horses a day since they were 2 don't fall off?

ye gods.

i like my brain. i like my brain intact and functioning on a higher level better. helmets help that. generally speaking. no, they are not going to make riding a safe sport. it's inherently dangerous. but why are people opposed to being somewhat safer?